Home›Forums›[Ri051] Official Forum›Opcenito – Main›Smijesni filmovi
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March 27, 2007 at 14:49 #9341
d3uhaParticipantApril 11, 2007 at 10:15 #9342
GanciParticipantDođe klinac u ljekarnu i kaze:
– Dajte mi kutiju Viagre.
– Ne može, to nije za djecu.
– Ali to nije za mene, djed me je poslao.
– A, tako… Pa, dobro, evo ti, i kazi djedu da pije samo jednu tabletu na
sedam dana. Ide klinac kuci i ponavlja:
– Jednu na sedam dana, jednu na sedam dana, jednu na sedam dana… Stigne
kuci i kaže djedu:
– Evo, donesao sam lijek, teta je rekla da moras piti sedam tableta na
dan!
Poslije nekoliko dana dolazi klinac opet u ljekarnu:
– Otkud ti tako brzo? Jeli djedu bolje?
– Pa… njemu jeste, ali…
– Sto ali?
– Baba je umrla poslije dva dana, mama i sestra su trudne, tata je
poludio, mene boli guza, a Lesi se ne vraca kuci
:smt098 :smt005 :smt040
April 18, 2007 at 08:13 #9343
RimtuTiTukiParticipantApril 30, 2007 at 10:02 #9344
cronoParticipantMay 9, 2007 at 20:17 #9345
GanciParticipantJos jedna o njima:
Šalje Mujo Hasi internet adresu:
May 10, 2007 at 10:52 #9346
GanciParticipantnije jubito ali je video do jaja 😀
May 13, 2007 at 19:17 #9347
DakkyParticipanthttp://www.tud.ttu.ee/error.html
Nije film vec ako ste ikada dozivjelji error 404 radi otvaranja nepostojece stranice, ova stranica vam na slikovit nacin opisuje sta se desava u pozadini
:smt005
June 2, 2007 at 13:27 #9348
d3uhaParticipanthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB38HZGW9kM&mode=related&search=
kastrirani tip u emisiji
June 5, 2007 at 11:46 #9349
GanciParticipanthttp://www.funnyordie.com/v1/view_video.php?viewkey=d0277922f8371d582729
:smt005 !opr019fj :smt044 :smt046
MUST SEE!
June 5, 2007 at 20:46 #9350
Lamb-LoverParticipantda vidimo tko stoji iza svega toga?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBoWOXOnyEQ&mode=related&search=
June 13, 2007 at 07:55 #9351
cronoParticipantEvo par uleta!!!
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!
I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?
Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?
I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?
You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.
You know what would look great on you? Me.
Can I read your T shirt in brail?
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. Jel tako i ti Troky???????
I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.
Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.
Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night!
Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?
I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
You know, winning the lottery doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous.
All those curves! And me with no brakes!
Can I even get a fake number?
You’ll do.
Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much ass.
You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
I would say god bless you but it looks like he already did.
It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.
Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
June 13, 2007 at 10:12 #9352
cronoParticipantBrza kamera – fora
June 13, 2007 at 16:45 #9353
GanciParticipantJedna od boljih !!!
Najnepostenija stvar u životu njegov je kraj. Mislim, život je težak. I oduzme ti dosta vremena. I što dobiješ na kraju? Smrt. To je, kao, neki bonus?!
Uvjeren sam da je životni ciklus okrenut naopačke. Smrt bi trebala biti na početku. Potom slijedi život u staračkom domu iz kojeg te izbace jer si bio prezdrav. Onda počneš raditi tako što prikupiš mirovinu i već prvi dan na poslu dobiješ zlatni sat. Potom radiš četrdeset godina, dok ne postaneš dovoljno mlad za uživanje u mirovini. Piješ puno alkohola, ideš s tuluma na tulum i polako se pripremaš za srednju školu. Onda slijedi osnovna škola, postaješ klinac, igraš se i nemaš nikakvih odgovornosti u životu. Potom si malo dijete, pa beba, vraćaš se unutra i devet mjeseci lebdiš dok te grije najluksuznije centralno grijanje, kupka, a hrana stiže kroz cjevčicu. I kraj dočekaš jednim fantastičnim orgazmom!!! Amen.
GEORGE CONSTANZA. .the Legend!
June 28, 2007 at 13:46 #9354
cronoParticipantŠtef iz Stubice odlucio vidjeti zemlju izlazeceg sunca, te uštedio za put i
krenuo.
Kak bu putoval nego vlakom?
Dojde na stanicu kupiti kartu:
– “Molim jednu kartu za Tokio.”
– “Joj, ne znam ti ja to. Evo ti do Zaboka, pa ti buju oni prodali do
Tokia.”
U Zaboku:
– “Prosil bi kartu za Tokio.”
– “Ne prodajemo Vam mi karte za Africke zemlje. To morate kupiti u
Zagrebu.”
– “Nije Afrika nego Azija. Dajte mi onda do Zagreba”
U Zagrebu:
– “Molim jednu kartu za Tokio.”
– “Tokio? Evo vama do Frankfurta, pa tamo pitajte za dalje.”
Nijemci složili Štefu kompletni aranžman i tako on nakon nekoliko dana
doputuje u Japan.
Nakon 7 dana upoznavanja kulture i sakea, Štef odluci da je vrijeme za
vratiti se.
Na kolodvoru shvati da je zaboravil tražiti povratnu kartu.
– “Du ju spik ingliš?”
– “Yes I do. How can I help you?”
– ” Ajd lajk tu bay a tiket tu Stubica.”
– “Sir, I can not sell you a ticket unless you tel me precisely where do
you want to travel. Is it Gornja Stubica or Donja Stubica?”
November 19, 2007 at 12:43 #9355
Lamb-LoverParticipantTCP/IP – Tri Crna Piva / I Pelinkovac
DHCP – Dva Hladna Crna Piva
WINS – Wina Ima, Natoči Svima
ASP – Ajmo Svi Pit
SLIP – Sad Litru I Pelinkovac
PPP – Pijem Pivo Popodne
DVD – Daj Vodu Drugima
ISA – Idu Stari Alkosi
GPS – Gorki Pelinkovac Svima
GIS – Gorki I Stella
ODBC – Odnesi Dva Ballantinesa Curama
DNS – Daj Nam Sol-a
ARP – Ajmo Radije Piti
PAP – Prekaljeni Alkoholicari Piju
ADO – Alkohol Dolazi Odmah
.NET – Neka Etanol Teče
IRC – Ipak Rakiju Curama
PHP – Posalji Hladno Pivo
HTTP – Hoču Tamno Točeno Pivo
CGI – Cirkaj Game Ipak
SCSI – Svi Cugamo Sipaj Isto
AGP – Alkohol Gospoda Piju
DDR – Donesi Domaču Rakiju
MIRC – Ma Ipak Rakiju Curama
ICQ – Isključivo Rakiju Qpujem
FTP – Fermentaciju Toplo Preporučujem
UTP – Uveliko Tekilu Pijem
DSL – Duplu Sauzu Lemam
AGP – Ajde Gurni Pivo
URL – Ujutro Rešeno Lečenje
FTP – Fermentacija Točenog Piva
TELNET – Točena Efikasno Litra Noću Eliminira Tegobe
PERL – Ponesi Evo Rakije Litru
PING – Pivna Industrija Nikad Gora
WWW – Votka Vodi Vandalizmu
3D – 3 Domače
GPRS – Gulimo Prvo Rakiju Subotom
WAP – Veoma Alkoholno Piče
BMP – Biče Mamuran Posle
CNC – Cele Noči Cugam
URL – Unicum Radi Lepo
JS – Jagermajster Sipaj
HTML – Hladan Tuborg Mamurluk Leči
USB – Uspi Strejt Burbon
JPG – Jedno Pivo Gospodjici
DSL – Daj Svima Lozu
P2P – Posalji 2 Piva
CSS – Cugaj Samo Smirnoff
DOS – Daj Opet Smirnoff
CPU – Cirkaj Pivo Uvek
HDD – Hajde Domaču Donesi
ISDN – Isto Samo Duplo Natoči
PDF – Pijemo Do Fajronta
TTF – Toči Tu Finlandiju
UPS – Udri Po Sljivovici
UTF8 – Uspi Točenih Fostersa 8
WIN XP – Votku Isključivo Na EKS Pijem
ZIP – Zenama Ipak Pivo
PPD – Pelinkovac Prvo Donesi
MySQL – Metaxu Jednu Stavi Kocku Leda
ISDN – Idi Sestro Donesi Nikšičko
CABLE – Cevčim Absint Bijuči Ludu Esmeraldu (stanje zvano koma)
T3 – Tuborga Tri
LOL – Laško Olvejz Laško
VoIP – Vinjak Odmah Ispij Pijanduro
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